Out on the Lawn

For Kellie, as promised. ;)

I Must be Crazy....

Sooo, today amongst the sickness of my sweet child and myself, I find out some bad news and good news. All of which made me very sad. Allow me to explain....

My brother, his wonderful wife and sweet, adorable boys were coming to visit us the week after we returned from Spring Break to Idaho. But life happens and they will have to come later. Not a big deal, but still very sad. I'm sure my sister-in-law is jus as sad as I am. It doesn't really change our life, it's still sad to have to wait a bit longer.

Then about a half hour ago I found out one of my very good friends is expecting baby number three. Albeit I AM absolutley thrilled for her, I felt a pang of jealousy for a bit. Weird. I've had the baby hungries for awhile now. Odd you say? I must agree, being as I have a 4 month old. So much of me wants to have more children. I don't really know why I feel so down about it. Part of me is envious she's so fertile. Also, many of my other girlfriends are expecting, too.

I remember what I felt like when I was waiting to have my first child and how disappointed I was when I heard person after person was expecting who had gotten married after I had. I felt like I was missing out. I felt almost empty at times. I'm past that initial stage, obviously. This time feels different. More melancoly. Almost like someone's missing. Don't ask me why.

No, I'm not going to sit around feeling miserable and miss out on the best part of being a mother for the first time. I'll make the most of it. And really, I am a very happy person. I would just like not to have ot wait a mandatory year to try again just because someone tells me I have to.

It's Official....

Like I said, it's official. We now have a little bitty thumb sucker in the family. Tonight as I was giving Jonathan his bath I looked down to see a tiny little pudgy hand with thumb extended, inside his mouth. He was gnawing it like no tomorrow. His left bottom molar is coming in and he was chomping something fierce. He'd wriggled it back into his mouth as far is he could get it. So cute!

After what seems like a lifetime of trying to get him to take a pacifier and a bottle, he's finally found something he likes. Some moms would completely freak out about their child starting such a habit, but not me. If it becomes habitual, I know he'll grow out of it when he's ready. Kids always do. Besides, he's soooo darn adorable when he gets all munchy on that chubby little
thumb of his. How could I force him not to?

Domestic Diva

I wanted to grow up and be a professional opera singer or a prima ballerina for the New York City Ballet. I was the girl who professed she'd never get married and most certainly would never have children. Not after living in a house full of step-siblings who all knew how to cook. Nope. I was going to be famous. I didn't need to know how to cook. Someone would do that FOR me.

Who was that? Oh man, I really have NO idea! I'm totally a different person! I'm all like... shoot. I still say "I'm all like." Nevermind. Really, though. I've changed. Promise! I've reformed my ways, gotten married and even had a my first child. How's that for a 180?

I never really saw myself as one of those "housewives". I was always too fickle, never really wanting to settle. Surprise. I met Mr. Right and it all changed. But even after all that, I wouldn't label myself a "housewife" per say because I'm not married to the house. I would more call myself a "Domestic Diva"... in training.

I have so many things I want to do now! I'm finally looking through the cookbook that my sister-in-law made for me so I can learn how to put my family on a good schedule (kinda' hard with a husband with an unpredictable study schedule and a son who's still nursing whenever he wants), I'm learning to juggle husband/baby time so I can get the most out of my time for household chores (which right now is on the fritz... I'll get back on track, if I don't I'll lose my mind!!), learning to budget (wish me luck!), and my latest venture is sewing!

I've wanted to take a class on it ever since I moved out here. They offer beginning through advanced classes and I LOVE the idea of having a major project to do each class. They offer it at the adult nightschool not very far from my house. But there is a catch: you have to have a machine to work on at home to practice and you don't get enough time to finish your project in class, so obviously I could never sign up.

My mother is a saint. She offered to give me her sewing machine she bought right before her arthritis got too bad. She's never used it, so it's brand new. It's just waiting for someone to use it! I'll pick it up when I go to Idaho over spring break! I'm so excited! Too bad I have to wait for fall to roll around for the beginning class to start. Oh well. It works better anyway. Jonathan will be old enough to leave at home for the two hours I'll be away.

Wheeeeeee!!!! I'm so excited! (Yeah, I know I already said that.) First big project: a quilt I've been saving up fabric for for over 10 years. Yes, I know. It's been too long. Poor fabric is probably lonely! Let's make it a goal to give it some company like, let's say quilt batting and some thread. Yeah. I think that'll do.

Pay It Forward

The first five people to leave a comment on this blog will receive something made by me. However there are some limitations.
1. I make no guarantee that you will like what I make.

2. What I create will be just for you.

3. It will be done this year.

4. You have no clue what it is going to be, poetry, clothes, paper goods, or a little invention of my own. I may bake something and mail it you . Who knows? Not you that's for sure!

5. I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

Here's the catch, if you choose to do this. You must post this on your blog and be ready to make something for five people too. This will be fun! When you receive the fabulous item I make you, you must post a picture of it on your blog.

Growing

Soooo, today was my baby's four month birthday. I can hardly believe he's the same little boy we brought home from the hospital. He's so big now!

Last night as I struggled to get to sleep, I recalled what Jonathan looked like when he was born. He came out and let out one cry to take in his first breath and that was it. He was far too preoccupied looking at the new world around him to realize he should be crying. He was so very long and skinny. He was so tiny, he didn't even fit his newborn clothes. He had little swirls of hair all over his tiny body that was silky smooth. He even had it on his bitty little ears. I loved to stroke them. On the tops of his legs, he had little man hairs and a swirl on his back right above his bum, dark and far more course than the silky fine hair that covered the rest of his body. Born able to hold his head up for long periods of time and a very strong sense of curiousity, I could barely get him to look at me for longer than 3 seconds before he was off trying to see things beyond his vision. His skin smelled sweeter than anything I'd ever breathed before. It was like I couldn't get enough of it. His breath was even sweeter. Sounds strange, but I remembered my step-mom said her babies all had the sweetest smelling breath and I had to see if she wasn't crazy. =) His smell was intoxicating. Everything about him was so pure and wonderful.

The nurses told me not to sleep with him in the hospital bed, but he wouldn't be consoled any other way. I'd put him on me tummy to tummy and he'd sleep there until the I'd hear the nurse knock and I'd quickly wake up and pretend to feed him. I just couldn't seem to put him down. His sweet little spirit permeated my whole world.

I just can't seem to grasp how fast it's all gone. Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives. (Hee, hee.) But really, it's true. It's a blur. I miss his itty bitty self.

Adult Session

Saturday was the adult session of stake conference. It seems like the talks were directed right at me. The spirit was so strong I cried at everything. Or maybe it's because I'm a mom now... who knows. But aside from the fact that conference was amazing, my husband and I had another experience to add.

Our bishop had his fourth son the day after we had Jonathan. He was carrying his son John (yes, ironic our sons were born a day apart from each other and essencially have the same name) around in his arms. Larry and I had a good chuckle at this. Since Bishop Townsend sits up on the stand in front of the congregation, we rarely get to see him in action with his younger children. It was a precious sight as he walked and bounced his youngest child around the foyer.

As we watched, Larry leaned into me and said, "It always makes a person more on your level to see them with their families." I responded in kind with, "I agree. Children: the great equalizers." And we chuckled some more.

Whether it's your first or twelfth child, you're always learning from each. Children put you right in middle ground with other parents. It's amazing to see how much a person really changes with the birth of a child.

I think now I finally feel the start of the great change I was expecting to happen instantaneously after I became a mother. It happens ever so slowy- like when you realize you should be asleep and not reading and designing blogs or scrapbooking in your baby books. =)