Friday, March 19, 2010

Ever SO Much More than I Can Say...

This morning after talking briefly to a newly-found old friend, I had the opportunity to sit back, look at my son and really analyze him. He was tailor-maid by God just for me and my husband. I know it. He is THE perfect child- for us. I got offline and played with him before giving him a snack and putting him down to nap.

As I rocked him to sleep, I looked around his room now that it's been rearranged to make room for his new toddler bed. I like it better now and having the different perspective opened my mind to other areas of my life to be thankful for. I started to get down to the knitty-gritty things in life, all the things that people complain about and have so much trouble with (including myself). I have problems just like everyone else, but in the grand scheme of things, I really have nothing to complain about at all. I have very little bills and all my basic needs are covered. I have a husband who loves me dearly and supports my decision to stay at home and raise our family. I didn't have ot wait very long to have children after getting married, and so and and so forth. I thought through all this as I put my son down in his crib.

As is customary for me after baby goes down, I hop on the computer for a few minutes to catch up on all things bloggy and Facebooky. I found this poem on an old friend's blog. I've known her for years and have had the opportunity to watch her change and become such an amazing woman. I look up to her very much because I see so much of myself in her. She was one of my older sister's best friends all throughout high school and well into college, and even today. I'm blessed to still be a small part of her life, even though we live a thousand miles away.

Here is her post:

Lord, thank you for this sink of dirty dishes;
We have plenty of food to eat.
Thank you for this pile of dirty, stinky laundry;
We have plenty of nice clothes to wear.
And I would like to thank you, Lord, for those unmade beds;
They were so warm and comfortable last night.
I know that many have no bed.
My thanks to you, Lord, for this bathroom,
Complete with all the splattered mirrors, soggy, grimy towels and dirty lavatory;
They are so convenient.
Thank you for this finger-smudged refrigerator that needs defrosting so badly;
It has served us faithfully for many years.
It is full of cold drinks and enough leftovers for two or three meals.
Thank you, Lord, for this oven that absolutely must be cleaned today.
It has baked so many things over the years.
The whole family is grateful for that tall grass that needs mowing,
The lawn that needs raking;
We all enjoy the yard.
Thank you, Lord, even for that slamming screen door.
My kids are healthy and able to run and play.
Lord, the presence of all these chores awaiting me says
You have richly blessed my family.
I shall do them cheerfully and I shall do them gratefully.
May we all be thankful like the person who wrote this poem. Have wonderful weekend!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Communication Block?

So, for the last year or so I've been trying to figure out how to communicate better. I mean, we all can, but I've been actively trying to gage myself trying to figure out where I'm failing.

I had the opportunity to have lunch with my two best friends out here in my ward and as women, we love to talk. I'm a people watcher by nature mostly, so as I watched my girlfriends talk, I tried to quiet the loud part of who I am and jump in to every part of the conversation I felt I had something pertinent to add.

One of them is expecting her first and the other has an adorable baby girl. It's interesting being the one who's a step ahead in life, at least in the children's department. Not that I feel I know any more than they do! But I sure never thought I would be. It makes me feel old. But moving on...

As I watched the expectant mother talk about how things in her life have brought her to where she is now, I found that I have so very much more in common with her in so very many different aspects of my life, which is probably why we love to get together and talk so much. But my other girlfriend sat there listening and laughing at the appropriate times. She was so gracious, great at listening. I used to be that way for so long.

It's like I've let the advice mother inside of me take over the listener I was. It was an eye opener. I had so many things I could've said, so many similar situations that have happened to me or people in my family when they talk and we get together. I find that for myself if I feel like I'm connecting, I have to find a story within my life that is similar because I feel like I don't have anything to add and I'm a boring person if I just sit and listen. But oh! I found people like that when I was growing up INSUFFERABLE!! How did I become someone whom I used to be so annoyed by??

So after watching them, I sat back and processed all this in the midst of our conversation. How did I get so old? How did I become such a know-it-all? I'm a pretty blunt person and my husband is always telling me to watch how I direct my speech at others because I don't sugar-coat. He says that I can even be mean at times. I'm soooo not mean. Am I?

This is going to take awhile to sort out. I mean, I like me. At least, I think I like me? I do, don't I? After today, I'm not so sure. Maybe I'm over analyzing everything because I'm pregnant. But I can't be too sure. I just want to be a nice person that people aren't afraid to talk to or have fear I'm going to tromp all over the things they have to share with me. Oh perfect. Why am I crying?? Deep breaths. Calm down.

I think it's time to shelve this one and hit the sack.

Monday, March 8, 2010

20 weeks

That's right. Saturday marked week 20 in my pregnancy. And to celebrate, I bought a car! (Still no ability to upload pictures b/c of laptop problems.) No really. My husband and I got me a fabulous car. My girlfriend Kellie had sent me a link to one of her friends in a neighboring city who was selling her car, which wasn't exactly what we were looking for, but was in good shape, very little miles, and in our price range. So I emailed her and left her my number.

This woman left me an email saying that someone was coming to look at the car at 8am and she didn't know what time was too early to call. I was so angry and upset that I didn't tell her that anytime after 6am would be fine to call because of how early my son gets up and even more so because my husband and I felt very much that this was what we were supposed to do. We'd been feeling very apprehensive about getting a car from a dealer and spiritually that it was not what we were supposed to do.

The woman graciously emailed me back and let me know that her car had sold. Now I was super confused. Why would Lars and I both feel settled about something and not have it work out? Grousing to myself in my head, I pulled up and started to scan through cars in the OC. I found one that looked right (a VW Jetta), similar the link I'd been sent by Kellie and made the call. Someone was already on their way to look at it. Brick wall.

I made another phone call. Sold. Brick wall.

I made another phone call, not enough information. Brick wall.

I found a great 2007 family Volvo for sale, made the call. As I calculated the insurance payment in my head on top of dropping every penny we had in our savings just for the car and not including money for car/repair/insurance, I quickly came to the conclusion that insuring and repairing a luxury car was so not going to happen. Brick wall.

I made a few other phone calls with more of the same thing. But now I was fueled by frustration and anger. I was on a mission. I knew I was supposed to buy a car this day. So I kept at it.

Then the woman I originally called about the first Jetta (because I'd found a few) told me that the person who was coming by had repeatedly kept calling and saying she was just around the corner, even though they lived in the same city. We were told we could come out and look at the car, since the car owner was tired of being jerked around. So we prayed, loaded up, and headed to Orange County.

When we got there, the car was gone. Actually, the person who had originally wanted to look at the car was behind us IN THE CAR. Now I was ticked. Holding my breath. They left, saying they wanted to think about it. WHAT?? Who does that?

We checked out the car ourselves and crossed our fingers. We paid for it and while Lars filled out the paperwork, the woman who was selling the car got out a kids drinkable yogurt and some Oreos to share with my son. She and her husband were so kind. I was just blown away that she would share something with us when she had two little girls of her own and was selling us her car.

Now after how nice this couple was, I'm really hoping there's nothing super wrong with this car. It'll go to the mechanic's this week sometime when Lars can take it because this momma is not putting herself or her child in that car until everything's put together. **Holding my breath**

And you'll be happy to know that for the first time EVER, I drove an entire 45 minutes on the freeway with my son in the backseat following my husband home. I've never driven on a California freeway for more than 15 minutes to get to work, so nearly and hour was a miracle. I'm not saying I'll be doing that anytime soon again, but now I know that I'm capable of it. Maybe I'll get a TomTom I won't be so freaked out about getting so hopelessly lost with no one to find me that I'll die of panic in the car....