Growing

Soooo, today was my baby's four month birthday. I can hardly believe he's the same little boy we brought home from the hospital. He's so big now!

Last night as I struggled to get to sleep, I recalled what Jonathan looked like when he was born. He came out and let out one cry to take in his first breath and that was it. He was far too preoccupied looking at the new world around him to realize he should be crying. He was so very long and skinny. He was so tiny, he didn't even fit his newborn clothes. He had little swirls of hair all over his tiny body that was silky smooth. He even had it on his bitty little ears. I loved to stroke them. On the tops of his legs, he had little man hairs and a swirl on his back right above his bum, dark and far more course than the silky fine hair that covered the rest of his body. Born able to hold his head up for long periods of time and a very strong sense of curiousity, I could barely get him to look at me for longer than 3 seconds before he was off trying to see things beyond his vision. His skin smelled sweeter than anything I'd ever breathed before. It was like I couldn't get enough of it. His breath was even sweeter. Sounds strange, but I remembered my step-mom said her babies all had the sweetest smelling breath and I had to see if she wasn't crazy. =) His smell was intoxicating. Everything about him was so pure and wonderful.

The nurses told me not to sleep with him in the hospital bed, but he wouldn't be consoled any other way. I'd put him on me tummy to tummy and he'd sleep there until the I'd hear the nurse knock and I'd quickly wake up and pretend to feed him. I just couldn't seem to put him down. His sweet little spirit permeated my whole world.

I just can't seem to grasp how fast it's all gone. Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives. (Hee, hee.) But really, it's true. It's a blur. I miss his itty bitty self.

Adult Session

Saturday was the adult session of stake conference. It seems like the talks were directed right at me. The spirit was so strong I cried at everything. Or maybe it's because I'm a mom now... who knows. But aside from the fact that conference was amazing, my husband and I had another experience to add.

Our bishop had his fourth son the day after we had Jonathan. He was carrying his son John (yes, ironic our sons were born a day apart from each other and essencially have the same name) around in his arms. Larry and I had a good chuckle at this. Since Bishop Townsend sits up on the stand in front of the congregation, we rarely get to see him in action with his younger children. It was a precious sight as he walked and bounced his youngest child around the foyer.

As we watched, Larry leaned into me and said, "It always makes a person more on your level to see them with their families." I responded in kind with, "I agree. Children: the great equalizers." And we chuckled some more.

Whether it's your first or twelfth child, you're always learning from each. Children put you right in middle ground with other parents. It's amazing to see how much a person really changes with the birth of a child.

I think now I finally feel the start of the great change I was expecting to happen instantaneously after I became a mother. It happens ever so slowy- like when you realize you should be asleep and not reading and designing blogs or scrapbooking in your baby books. =)

Peek-a-Boo

Today was my first game of peek-a-boo. Jonathan was so cute! (He hasn't really responded to any of our attempts to make him smile until about two weeks ago. )

The idea popped into my head after I buckled him into his carseat today on the way to church. He was so happy and smiley. I just had to see if he'd respond. I put my hands up in front of my face and said, "Peek-a-boo!" and waited a few moments for it to register in Jonathan's head that I was playing with him. It didn't take long. He squealed in delight and giggled and kicked. It was a sight to behold. Over and over I did it, his peels of laugher so infectious. I realized we needed to get him in the car and get him on the road so we could get to church a little early. I didn't want to stop, but it was time to go.

After we brought him home from church, I played with him again. He was so adorable! And once more I played with him as I was getting him dressed for bed after his bath. Who knew a simple game of peek-a-boo could bring such joy!

Brag, Brag, Brag

Ok, so I'm sure you're all sick and tired of hearing about how amazing my son is, but I don't care. Hee, hee. >=D

Just last week on Thursday, he held a ball by himself! It was beyond exciting. It was awesome to see him consentrate on lifting his little arms, work on opening his pudgy hands, and finally put them on either side of the ball. His excitement as he realized he did something like that by himself, shaking the ball back and forth so vigorously until it fell out of his hands, then his frustration as he noticed he wasn't holding it anymore... truly exhilorating.

The Love Boat

I love Valentine's Day. Always have. Even if I was dumped or did the dumping on the day or the day before, (which happened way more than it should in one person's life-time). Some people are bitter or lonely, which is very understandable. But I just can't help being in love with a holiday that celebrates pink and red and fluffy, lovey-dovey, ooey-gooey stuffs.

I happened to a have a delicious holiday. My husband came home Friday night with a red rose and a red heart balloon that said "I love you." He was so clever bringing that home for me for our "anniversary". (We were married on Friday, October 13th.) It was a lovey gesture and I appreciated it because we had spent all our "holiday" money on our son.

The next morning he surprised me once again by putting a bunch of little goodies-all my favorite candies and cute Disney Princess Valentines- on top of a spray of red rose petals on the guest bed in the nursery. Normally, when Larry's home, he does all of the diaper changes, so when he told me he needed to finish getting ready (we were leaving for family breakfast) and handed Jonathan to me. I walked in and I saw his little display and was so surprised and happy.

I felt bad because I hadn't gotten anything for him, but he shook his head and said, "You're MY Valentine. That's enough", which of course made me feel more sad and happy at the same time. But it's not like I could pull one over on him and sneek out and get something for him later. He already knew and it's not like we had any cash-ola laying around for frivolous spending. So I had to let it go.

I did have the best Valentine's Day. Even if Larry didn't get me anything, it would've been wonderful just to spend time with him.. as well as my son.

Packages

I love getting packages in the mail. Even if they're not specifically for me. There's something magical about getting goodies from another person. Today was such a day.

My sister-in-law sent something for my sweet baby boy and we received it late this evening. As I was nursing, I wasn't able to open it right away. My husband, being the doll that he is, left it for me to open and discover the contents there in. And what contents there were!

Inside was an adorable long-sleeved onesie pants set with Tigger on it and, [now get ready, this is the amazing part] home-made burp cloths AND a home-made scrapbook just for Jonnie's first year!! Amazing, I know!! It was mind-boggling to think that she'd spent all that time sewing and putting together something like that... She's so creative and did so many wonderful things for our little boy!! She even did something similar for me when I got married.

Sufficeth to say, I have the world's coolest sister-in-law. I need to jump on the band wagon and try to be as awesome as she is. Becca, this blog's for you. <3 ;D

Beautiful

Have you ever had that moment where, as a mom, you finally see yourself as beautiful? I mean, truly, honestly, really attractive... to yourself?

I was walking out of the bathroom when I glanced at myself in the sliding mirror shower door this afternoon. It hit me really quickly, like a sudden great idea you get in the middle of doing something else. I thought, "Hey! I look good! And I'm a mom!" It was a delicious thought and I wanted to hang onto it for a few moments longer. I walked back into the bathroom to admire myself some more, turning and preening the way we women are want to do.

It was nice to be able to see the few inches that have melted away after childbirth and all the fastfood runs made during all those nights in the ER with my infant son had finally, FINALLY decided to take a hike, in the literal sense. The weight that I had lost and gained back during the most crucial six weeks after having a baby that I never thought I'd get rid of. The curves that I'd missed for these last three months were, at long last, starting to come out of hiding.

But it's not as if weight was the thing that made me feel unattractive. I had just taken time to put make-up on, I'd spent the morning with one of my best friends, whom I adore, and I was going out to shop with my two favorite people in the whole world: my boys. It felt good to have my self-esteem in the right place for a boost. I was feeling good about other aspects of my life as well, so looking good was just something else to add.