Friday, December 11, 2009

Babies

My girlfriend Kellie was always so positive when she found something that was ailing her while she awaited the arrival of her daughter. In her blog, she would always post things to uplift her and those around her. I admire her for that.

I'm probably one of the most whiny, miserable pregnant women ever, and I'm sure my girlfriend Mary would chuckle and secretly agree with you, since she's the one who listens to me the most. **giggle** I get those little moments of "Here's something to help you be grateful for your pregnancy" moments, but I'm usually so sick and miserable, I don't take that time to really absorb it. As I type this, I'm listening to "The Forgotten Carols". The song Sarah sings "Mary Let Me Hold Her Baby" has always been one I loved very much.

Sarah's Song
Mary let me hold her baby
her newborn son.
Though I'd never be a mother
I felt like one.
Mary let me hold her baby
so she could rest,
and ever since that night I held him,
my life's been blessed.
Bridge:
Those like me who can't have children
still can be mothers.
Chorus:
Something in his eyes convinced me
I could serve so many others.
Mary let me hold her baby
so soft and warm.
Mary let me hold her baby
and I was reborn.
Interlude
Chorus:
Something in his eyes convinced me
I could serve so many others.
Mary let me hold her baby,
so soft and warm.
Mary let me hold her baby
and I was reborn.

The verse that opens the song is the one that always touches me the most: "Though I'd never be a mother, I felt like one."

There are so many women out there who would give anything to have a child. This is my second. How blessed am I with fertility? I don't have to go through weeks, months, years trying to discover why I can't conceive. I don't have to remortgage my house or refinance my vehicles to afford fertility treatments.

When these thoughts enter my mind, I realize how selfish I am. This song has a way of reminding me that regardless of how sick I am or how emotional I get, I need to be thankful for all of it. More than that, this song is special to me because it speaks of Mary and her sweet newborn son. I felt so close to Mary last year with the pending arrival of my own son's birth so close to Christmas time. On the calendar in my room, there was painting of Mary holding her new son, Jesus. I often reflected on how she felt and how tender a spirit Jesus would have been. Babies come with such a spiritual strength because they're so fresh from heaven. My own son had such an overwhelmingly strong spirit, I wept many times just holding and looking at him. I can only imagine how powerful the newborn Christ child's spirit would have been, even just being within proximity of him.

I know things will start to get me down as pregnancy sickness takes over, but today, right now, I feel the spirit and know that my heart is in the right place being grateful for the most precious gifts anyone can ever hope to receive: my children and my husband, for without him, I would not have them.

3 comments:

Jenn Hansen said...

What a wonderful thought!

K said...

Do you remember when I thought I had miscarried? That was one of the most depressing feelimgs in the world. I often reflected on that & I always just felt blessed to be able to carry a child. Never forget how lucky you are, and what some women would give to be in your shoes, crying toddler & all! :)

Kellie said...

its me!