We Date Who We Marry

We often times get wrapped up in our everyday humdrum lives and it's easy to take for granted what brought  us together in the first place. We repeat the same stories, jokes and punch lines, et cetera to each other and constantly tell one another these things until we think we'll turn blue in the face. But there are those certain brief moments that time stops and we can connect on that level we did while we were first dating and become that young couple again.

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We were sent out Saturday night without a curfew after a long and hot day at the beach with no shade by my parents who were visiting for a few days. Tired as could be, we tossed back and forth about where we should go since we're at the end of our summer money with just enough for food and a wee bit of gas. 

As we were getting to the freeway, we passed Golf 'n Stuff, but it was packed more full than I've ever seen it and I had no patience to do more lines. I wanted to go to Knott's, since I've NEVER been there (even though I've lived in LA for nearly 6 years), but of course that was totally out of the question. (Yes, I now realize there are lots and lots of line at Knott's, but remember I was tired and burnt to a crisp from all day at the beach.) We bantered back and forth and eventually decided to see a movie and ended up at the Long Beach Town Center. We got a decent parking place and walked past the fountains and splash pad to the Edwards 20 to see what was playing.

We looked at the marquee and narrowed it down to a 3, since we had no energy to stay awake through a movie that started later than 10 and over half the movies were rated R. I looked up one that I'd wanted to see on my phone and was shocked at the amount of indecent things that were talked about and we opted out on that one. Then I looked up that other two movies and we both agreed we didn't want to pay $12 a ticket to see anything. So we sat at the main fountain in front of the theater and enjoyed the cool air trying to figure out what to do, since I couldn't be out that late since I had to sing for church the next morning. 

I decided to hit up Ben and Jerry's since I knew that they serve frozen yogurt and smoothies. I ended up getting a frozen strawberry lemonade and Lars got something sickeningly sweet like he always does. Then we started to head back toward the parking lot. I spotted an open bench in front of the waterfall fountain we passed on the way into the town center and we sat, chit chatting and laughing, just enjoying each other's company. I laughed at his jokes because for the first time in a long time, I honestly thought they were funny. It was hard to want to go home, so we sat for a little while longer before we headed back home.  

I hate to say how often I forget to honestly just BE with my husband. It's hard when your life is completely wrapped around two very small children, one of which is in the midst of potty training and the other not far behind. I forget to like myself and end up turning it outwardly to him thinking he'll think the same about me that I do, but he never does. And in this moment, you can honestly see that we were just happy to be together, loving one another. Tired as all get out, but more happy than I've been just to "be" in I can't remember how long. 

I really love this man and I need to start trying to like myself again so that I have enough emotional support under me to pass it on to him, because no one loves me more than him. No one. 

Rock the Boat

It's been a looooong time since I've posted. Let's face it, blogging just stopped being important since I started to write in a real journal awhile back. But I haven't and things are simply just busy and life is happening and time is sliding by without me noticing.

But tonight I'm full of emotions and just need some feedback, maybe to know that I'm a normal 20-something mom/woman and I haven't lost it.

I've been cleaning house like crazy the since yesterday and then my mother-in-law took both my son and daughter over night for a gift to me for Mother's Day. Needless to say, rather than turn in early to catch up on sleep since we're at a battle of wills with the baby concerning any type of sleep, I was buzzing from cleaning endorphins. Then when I finally lied sown for the night shortly after midnight, I couldn't sleep. All I could think about was the fact that the kids' doors were open and through the doors their curtains were open because I didn't close anything since they didn't go to their beds to sleep. I just kept thinking about how they were both away from me.

Now, to make things a little bit more clear, my husband and I started to watch reruns of The Wonder Years on our Netflix account and while I was overhauling the kitchen yesterday, I listened/watched to about 5 HOURS of the show. Today was much of the same thing, I overhauled the house, folded, sorted, ironed, and put away laundry to the voice of Daniel Stern's ever familiar voice portraying the adult Kevin Arnold. Now if you've ever watched this show as an adult, the things you thought were super funny as a kid, well they are still ever so funny, but the deeper meanings that are played upon actually make sense being well out of high school and college. Which brings me to what I've been thinking about.

Personal Pressure.

Many of my friends are pregnant again, most of them with their third children. And somehow, I feel like I'm missing out. I feel as though I should be on that baby wagon heading east, or west, or whatever. I feel like I NEED to be having another baby.

But I don't want one.

I had a scare last month when my period was 10 days late, which has NEVER happened since my period regulated after I got off birth control before I had my son nearly 4 years ago. My period happened ON TIME. And intimate moments just weren't happening due to the invasion of a daughter who woke up her brother when she came into our room, or vice versa. The fact I was late didn't add up. So I took 3 tests (like always~ two you could have a false positive, but 3 can knock either  false positive of negative out) and just as I had accepted the fact that I was going to be a mom of 3 (after days, hours, milliseconds of anger and hosility toward this possible unborn child) I checked and they were all negative.

I was happy, right? I mean, I'd been angry and up in arms about what to do with another child when I had SO much to do to be ready to accept and be ready for another child into my heart, arms, home, and family. But the fact was, was I was crushed. Devastated. I had already *just* decided and let the glimmer of excitement (and dreading the physically if carrying another baby without losing weight first) of another baby slip in under the radar undetected and the not-quite-real loss of it all hit me quite literally like a tether ball square in the chest.

The fact is, I'm not ready. I'm having many unexplained health problems that I need to get worked out (don't get me started), my kids are both going through their own power struggles as they learn and I try to teach them their independence (not to mention a million other things) and they're just about all I can handle. Strike that. They are ALL I can handle. So why is it that I feel so lost? Why do I feel like I'm being left behind? I don't want another child. And I feel a wall in my emotions about it. There simply is No room No time in my life now for another child.

But when I think about 3 weeks ago and the lost-that-never-was, I feel ever so sad and teary-eyed for something I'm not sure how to put into words and it's hard to quell the emotion that rises in my chest and the lump that forms in my throat because of it. I lost something. But I kept something as well. And with both, I'm clearly depressed and confused. Actually, I don't even remember what I was going to ask in the first place.

I guess it's just been so long and I've been so busy holding on so tightly to so many deep emotions that I just needed a place to unload. It's a hard uphill road doing it by yourself, keeping ahold of those heavyset emotions, and right now it's simply too much. I'm sad and tired and weighed down. So I'm leaving these things here. Please be kind if you choose to respond. I have so much I'm feeling and dealing with already and I'm likely to tip and spill if you rock the boat too much.

The Perfect Posy

It's that time again! I'm making a post about a give away! My girlfriend Mary is an incredibly talented SAHM and this is her business. She's hosting a give away on her blog which is linked to her Facebook business page!


Blog link:
http://theperfectposyforyou.blogspot.com/2011/06/summer-giveaway-starts-today.html

Facebook link:
https://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/ThePerfectPosy

New Business

Hey y'all! After 5 years of licensure in the state of Idaho, I've decided to go into the business I went to college for. My business page on Facebook is call Sepulveda Cosmetology and I'm working on putting up a blog under the same name, so watch for the link! I'm super excited and have started the long process of paperwork to becomes officially licensed out here in California, so more than likely i should be licenced by the end of summer or start of fall this year!!

To spread the word as favor to me, please "like" my Facebook page in the upper corner of this blog, or post this URL into your status. Thanks! I'm looking forward to posting new photos as my business grows!

Give Away!

If I didn't have to to repost this for more options on winning, It keeps the number down in the pot so there's less competition. Call me selfish. But I REALLY want to win this and you will too after going to this blog- http://www.infarrantlycreative.net/2011/04/the-original-scrapbox-sewing-box-giveaway.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+InfarrantlyCreative+%28infarrantly+creative%29 Seriously, any woman who has even tehremotest creativity in her wouldwant one of these things!!

Valentine...

You're my best friend...

... my lover...


... together we create...

...and become so much more!

Happy Valentine's to the most amazing person I've ever known. You make me a better person just by being with me. I love you, Larry.

Bignormous Day!

My wonderful husband took the day off work to catch up on some very important things for his continuing credential project to keep his job, and he took Jonnie to get his first haircut with his barber (when I'm crunched for time.. and my clippers finally died).

Dave (the barber) asked me how long I wanted it and I told him long enough to to a small fauxhawk. A FAUXhawk. NOT A REAL MOHAWK. Right as I realized that Dave completely didn't know what the heck I refered to, he took that initial chunk out right on the top edge and created a horrendous divot. My insides clutched and turned over. This guy was old school. I mean, who in the heck in the hair world doesn't know what a fauxhawk is??!

Before

During... (Notice my face... NOT happy!)

During...

Needless to say, Jonathan calmed down afterward and got a cute little certificate for his first haircut. I had to clean up some messy spots with my scissors once we got home, since it was so badly done and we actually ended up going and buying a really cheap set of clippers until I can get back home and buy a good set for wholesale with my Cos. license, but all in all, Dave offered me a JOB!

WHAT??!? Yeah, that's right. He has this sweet little set up in his back room for a single stylist and he's known Lars since long before we met (5 years ago next month) and knows that I'm a cos girl. I'm actually looking into it! So possibly coming soon~ Crazy Lady to work part-time on my lonesome and have my own hours and still have time to be with my babies!... but we'll see. Dave said he'd wait and see if I could figure out reciprocity and licensure and all that, so maybe it could happen. If it's booth rent, forget it. My cos girls, you know what that's all about. For me, it doesn't jive with my lifestyle.

After!

Avonlea slept like a baby (har, har) while Jonnie screamed and wailed through his haircut and woke up just in time to get to the mall for her special time of the day. Jonnie wanted to ride shotgun, which it was the very first time and he just put himself in there, and since Avonlea is just barely big enough to ride in back, I figured why not.

Hi from shotgun!

When we walked in, there's little satellite fudge shoppe called Kelly's and we let Jonnie pick out his own treat~ a fudge and rainbow sprinkle marshmallow stick for being such a trooper.

Lars had to keep Jonathan occupied while I held Avonlea for her piercing. She was such an angel. Cried a bit with the first ear, wailed and shrieked for a bit with the second, but was quickly diverted when we walked through Claire's to the register to pay for everything. She loved the shiny jewelery and reached for everything. She's such a girl!

Outside immediately afterward, happy as a clam.

Right ear

Left ear

I can't say I'm not super sad about her getting her ears pierced, but she looks sooooo beautiful! Very much like a traditional Latina baby. Her smiling little face with her perfect caramel skin and her black-brown eyes just fit perfectly in between her white gold studded ears! I am however super glad I waited until she was six months to do it!