Ever SO Much More than I Can Say...

This morning after talking briefly to a newly-found old friend, I had the opportunity to sit back, look at my son and really analyze him. He was tailor-maid by God just for me and my husband. I know it. He is THE perfect child- for us. I got offline and played with him before giving him a snack and putting him down to nap.

As I rocked him to sleep, I looked around his room now that it's been rearranged to make room for his new toddler bed. I like it better now and having the different perspective opened my mind to other areas of my life to be thankful for. I started to get down to the knitty-gritty things in life, all the things that people complain about and have so much trouble with (including myself). I have problems just like everyone else, but in the grand scheme of things, I really have nothing to complain about at all. I have very little bills and all my basic needs are covered. I have a husband who loves me dearly and supports my decision to stay at home and raise our family. I didn't have ot wait very long to have children after getting married, and so and and so forth. I thought through all this as I put my son down in his crib.

As is customary for me after baby goes down, I hop on the computer for a few minutes to catch up on all things bloggy and Facebooky. I found this poem on an old friend's blog. I've known her for years and have had the opportunity to watch her change and become such an amazing woman. I look up to her very much because I see so much of myself in her. She was one of my older sister's best friends all throughout high school and well into college, and even today. I'm blessed to still be a small part of her life, even though we live a thousand miles away.

Here is her post:

Lord, thank you for this sink of dirty dishes;

We have plenty of food to eat.

Thank you for this pile of dirty, stinky laundry;

We have plenty of nice clothes to wear.

And I would like to thank you, Lord, for those unmade beds;

They were so warm and comfortable last night.

I know that many have no bed.

My thanks to you, Lord, for this bathroom,

Complete with all the splattered mirrors, soggy, grimy towels and dirty lavatory;

They are so convenient.

Thank you for this finger-smudged refrigerator that needs defrosting so badly;

It has served us faithfully for many years.

It is full of cold drinks and enough leftovers for two or three meals.

Thank you, Lord, for this oven that absolutely must be cleaned today.

It has baked so many things over the years.

The whole family is grateful for that tall grass that needs mowing,

The lawn that needs raking;

We all enjoy the yard.

Thank you, Lord, even for that slamming screen door.

My kids are healthy and able to run and play.

Lord, the presence of all these chores awaiting me says

You have richly blessed my family.

I shall do them cheerfully and I shall do them gratefully.

May we all be thankful like the person who wrote this poem. Have wonderful weekend!

Babies

My girlfriend Kellie was always so positive when she found something that was ailing her while she awaited the arrival of her daughter. In her blog, she would always post things to uplift her and those around her. I admire her for that.

I'm probably one of the most whiny, miserable pregnant women ever, and I'm sure my girlfriend Mary would chuckle and secretly agree with you, since she's the one who listens to me the most. **giggle** I get those little moments of "Here's something to help you be grateful for your pregnancy" moments, but I'm usually so sick and miserable, I don't take that time to really absorb it. As I type this, I'm listening to "The Forgotten Carols". The song Sarah sings "Mary Let Me Hold Her Baby" has always been one I loved very much.

Sarah's Song

Mary let me hold her baby

her newborn son.

Though I'd never be a mother

I felt like one.

Mary let me hold her baby

so she could rest,

and ever since that night I held him,

my life's been blessed.

Bridge:

Those like me who can't have children

still can be mothers.

Chorus:

Something in his eyes convinced me

I could serve so many others.

Mary let me hold her baby

so soft and warm.

Mary let me hold her baby

and I was reborn.

Interlude

Chorus:

Something in his eyes convinced me

I could serve so many others.

Mary let me hold her baby,

so soft and warm.

Mary let me hold her baby

and I was reborn.

The verse that opens the song is the one that always touches me the most: "Though I'd never be a mother, I felt like one."

There are so many women out there who would give anything to have a child. This is my second. How blessed am I with fertility? I don't have to go through weeks, months, years trying to discover why I can't conceive. I don't have to remortgage my house or refinance my vehicles to afford fertility treatments.

When these thoughts enter my mind, I realize how selfish I am. This song has a way of reminding me that regardless of how sick I am or how emotional I get, I need to be thankful for all of it. More than that, this song is special to me because it speaks of Mary and her sweet newborn son. I felt so close to Mary last year with the pending arrival of my own son's birth so close to Christmas time. On the calendar in my room, there was painting of Mary holding her new son, Jesus. I often reflected on how she felt and how tender a spirit Jesus would have been. Babies come with such a spiritual strength because they're so fresh from heaven. My own son had such an overwhelmingly strong spirit, I wept many times just holding and looking at him. I can only imagine how powerful the newborn Christ child's spirit would have been, even just being within proximity of him.

I know things will start to get me down as pregnancy sickness takes over, but today, right now, I feel the spirit and know that my heart is in the right place being grateful for the most precious gifts anyone can ever hope to receive: my children and my husband, for without him, I would not have them.

Most Thankful

Alrighty, for those of you who's been following my weird status updates on Facebook, I'm outing myself.

Story: I took this test on Sunday last weekend, right after we got home from church- middle of the day, hormones not that high in the cup, if you get my drift. I was pretty sure I was, so I bought this last week on Friday.

My initial test didn't turn immediately like it had with Jonathan, so I yelled at Lars from the bathroom that it was negative and then decided to tell him how long it said to wait on the package. He yelled back to leave it and come have lunch and we'd check it afterward.

I forgot it was even in there, so as Lars was getting up to put his dishes in the sink, I remembered and asked him to get it. He yelled from the bathroom that he wasn't sure how to read it, so I told him to bring it out to me. Although not as strong as the first line, the second was definitely there. It looked identical to the time I took Jonathan's first test. I was relieved to see I was right and I wasn't late and queasy from some other reason. But I still couldn't really believe it. I left the test on the bathroom counter by the sink for the next 4 days, double checking to make sure I was right every time I went in the bathroom for whatever. I finally took a picture and threw it away.
This whole week, I told only a few people and felt like I was lying, since I'd taken 6 pregnancy tests to confirm with Jonathan and I was worrying myself into a stupor. I sent Lars out to get more tests from the store, but wouldn't you know, they were out of stock and wouldn't be rotating it until Saturday afternoon. I hate life when it gets in the way of my own sanity...

So tonight, while he was coming back from La Habra, I called and asked Lars to pick me up a couple more. Bless his heart, he bought four... he knows me. And these are the results:

So yep. I'm DEFINITELY preggers. And to top to it off, I'm not sick hardly at all! *knock on wood* Just queasy at times and a little dizzy when I forget to drink enough water. After seeing this little panel of tests, I was instantly feeling more calm. Willing to tell the blogging world in fact. So there you have it. 'll be taking polls on what we're having later. As for me, I'm voting girl.

I'm thankful for babies in November: Jonathan turning one, and finding out the same week his little sibling is on the way.